Team NSanity
by December-Chylde
Summary: Tough Chihiro, humerous Kenji, and sweet Shinju with insane Anko as their sensei what could possibly go wrong? Rated T for foul language and insanity.
1. Chapter 1

**Well, this is my new story. This is the product of several hours of boredom. The OCs are based on my family, friends, and me. And just so you know, Chihiro is me.**

**I hope you like it. **

**Disclaimer: Well, Ino isn't dead yet, so I guess I don't own Naruto. **

**Team N… Sanity**

**Chapter 1: Caught Red…Err…Purple-Handed**

It was a normal day at the Konoha ninja academy.

"SATOoooo!!!!!!"

Until the shrill scream of the Aizawa clan heir cut through the air. Upon hearing the almost demonic sound, the black-haired boy in question turned pale and his brown eyes widened.

"Hiro-chan, I swear I didn't do it. Look into my eyes. Are these the eyes of a dishonest person?" Poor Sato Kenji tried to talk his way out of the sticky situation his pranks had gotten him into.

"Kenji-baka, I know it was you who did it! You and Riku are the only ones who have the balls to sneak into my room and Riku isn't smart enough to come up with a plan like this!" The enraged Aizawa ripped him a new one.

Aizawa Chihiro had woken up this morning on top of the world. She had finally graduated the academy and in the top five of the class, no less. Stepping into the hot, steamy shower was like heaven. Unfortunately, her morning took a horrendous turn for the worse. Upon looking into the mirror after toweling off her hair, she found her once short brown hair was now a royal purple color. The poor girl's large blue eyes had become as big as saucers as she looked at herself. Her eyes narrowed as she thought of who could have done this. Only one named popped into her mind, Sato Kenji. She quickly combed her short, spiky, boyish hair and dressed herself in a pair of loose camouflage boy shorts, a black shirt, and a dark purple hooded jacket over it. Chihiro quickly ran out of the Aizawa compound passing Shinju without a second glance on her way to the academy to "greet" her "good" friend.

Sato Kenji had thought Chihiro would have taken the joke better. After all, purple was her favorite color. It really hadn't been difficult to sneak into her house. Every Aizawa knew he was one of Chihiro's friends. The hard part was getting into her room without her knowledge. Fortunately though, she was out celebrating with her brothers. The Aizawa clan was known for their wild celebrations and he knew she would be too tired to notice anything when she came back. So he had poured permanent purple hair dye into her shampoo and conditioner bottles. With three crazy brothers and more weird cousins than anyone could count, he didn't think she would figure out it was him so quickly.

'Well, you know what they say about assumptions. When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me,' the boy thought as he tried to figure out a way to save his sorry ass. He knew he didn't have a chance with her in an all out fight. He may have been half a foot taller than her; but with her intangibility jutsu, she could easily kick his ass without even earning a scratch. Kenji had also woken up in an awesome mood. Years of hard training had finally paid off. He had dressed himself in black pants, a dark green wife beater, and a heavy brown jacket to top it all off. "It'll be a shame when Chihiro beats me into a bloody pulp. How am I gonna explain the blood stains to my mom?"

"Chihiro-chan, why were you in such a hurry earlier? You didn't even say hello to me." Fortunately, Chihiro's rampage was interrupted by a cheery voice. The peppy voice belonged to none other than Chihiro's practically adopted sister, Yamamoto Shinju. Shinju was like the little sister Chihiro never had and was the only one besides Chihiro's father that could calm her down. Her blue eyes shone brightly and her dark brown hair swayed as she walked over to the small fray. She was dressed in a pair of navy capris, a grey shirt, and a light blue jacket over it. "I love what you've done with your hair Chihiro-chan. You look so good in purple," she said innocently.

Upon hearing this, Chihiro calmed down to the point that she was not about to murder one of her closest friends. Kenji looked at Shinju with eyes shining in gratitude and mouthed the words "thank you" to her.

The class was forced to go to their seats when Iruka-sensei came in. The three sat together, anxiously awaiting for the teams to be announced.

"Alright, Team 1 will be Hida Kamanosuke, Inoue Michi, and Hojo Akira," He announced. The three quickly left to meet their new sensei.

'Well that's three down,' thought most of the genin listening.

"Team 2 will be Aizawa Chihiro, Sato Kenji, and Yamamoto Shinju," this announcement was met with a cheer from the people mentioned. They also quickly left to meet their new sensei.

"Man, I hope we don't get stuck with a strict sensei. I got enough shit from Iruka-sensei," Kenji said in a care-free tone, the earlier confrontation forgotten.

"Meh, I just hope we don't end up with some psycho," was Chihiro's reply. She got enough insanity in her own home. She didn't need it from her sensei.

They reached the room where they were told to meet their new sensei. It had only been a few seconds of waiting before a tan flash shot into the room. A banner saying "Welcome Team 2 to Hell" suddenly appeared from no where. The woman standing in front of the banner had such revealing clothes on that if it hadn't been for the trench coat and the hitae-ate, they would've thought she was a stripper.

The poor genin looked on this sight with varying degrees of expressions on their faces. Shinju was stifling a giggle at the rather hilarious sight, Chihiro was staring in disbelief at the psychotic scene before her, and Kenji with a slightly bloody nose was laughing loudly.

"Well, this should be fun!" was the only thing that could be heard over his laughing fit.

**D-C: Well, there you go. The first chapter to Team N…Sanity is hot off the press. Review if you want to. If you don't like the story, please don't go all gangsta out on me and pop a cap in my sorry ass.**

**Sting: Yeah, if you do that, I'll have to come to where you live and throw rocks at you when you're fuckin' mowing your lawn.**

**D-C: Well said. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, here's the second chapter for you. I'd like to thank my buddy, Sting. He's a really cool dude and was awesome listening to my ideas.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, do you really think that I'd be wasting my time writing fanfics? **

**Team N…Sanity**

**Chapter 2: So What Do We Have To Work With?**

Anko surveyed the scene before her. A royally pissed look suddenly crossed her face. "Hmm… I specifically asked for an all-girls team and what do I get? Two boys and a girl!"

A flash of something demonic crossed Chihiro's face. Kenji's only thought was 'aww…crap and just when I thought I wouldn't have to deal with her anger again'.

"I'm a fucking GIRL!" Her voice held the same venom and unadulterated hatred that it had earlier in the morning.

A rather confused look crossed Anko's face at this new information. A smile quickly replaced the confusion though. "Well, that's good news then! Wait a minute! Does that mean you're girl too?" She looked at Kenji as she asked this.

"NO! I AM NOT A GIRL! And if being a girl means that you're freakin' insane, then I'm glad I happen to have a Y-chromosome!" Kenji was beyond pissed. He was used to Chihiro being mistaken for the opposite sex and always laughed at her for this. Needless to say, Kenji was not enjoying being in Chihiro's usual role and everyone else's laughter wasn't helping.

"Well, I guess I can get by with two girls and a boy. Say, wasn't your hair brown in your file picture?" This question produced a slight growl of annoyance from Chihiro and some stifled laughter from Kenji and Shinju.

"Oh well, I guess we better get the introductions out of the way. My name is Mitarashi Anko. I like fighting and dango. I hate my former sensei and his little emo cronies. My dream is to pay him back for all the shit he's done to me. I'm especially skilled in snake summoning jutsus. Hmm, I guess that pretty much sums it up. So, you're turn," she said pointing to Shinju.

"Well, my name is Yamamoto Shinju. I like drawing and spending time with Chihiro-chan and Kenji-kun. I don't like it when people think I'm weak. My dream is to become a great medical ninja and help people. I'm skilled in transformation jutsus and my kekkei genkai allows me to grow my fingernails really long and hard. Their density is that of steel."

"Growing your fingernails out? Not what I'd call the most impressive blood line limit; but I'm sure it has it's advantages in battle. Okay, next." Anko pointed to Kenji.

"My name is Sato Kenji. I like good food, good friends, and good jokes. I don't like people who are too serious. My dream is to become a master swordsman and an excellent shinobi. I'm skilled in earth jutsu and my weapon of choice is my freakin' awesome sword."

"So, where's your sword right now?" Anko couldn't help but notice the lack of weapon that he had so bluntly bragged about.

"Mom made me leave it at home. She said that I couldn't take a weapon like _that_ to school. I swear, if Dad wasn't as cool as he is, I'd be stuck fighting with just shuriken and kunai."

"Hmm, I see," she had met kids like this before. It would only be a matter of days until she got him into shinobi shape.

"Well, that just leaves me I guess. My name is Aizawa Chihiro. I like training, parties, and reading. I don't like it when people think I'm a boy and I wish I wasn't the Aizawa clan heir. My dream is to become a great kunoichi and to pass the position of clan heir to someone else. I'm skilled in genjutsu, my weapon is a five-bladed katar, and my kekkei genkai allows me to rearrange my molecules so that I can pass through solid objects. It can also be used to go inside an enemy's body and control their movements and speech."

"Okay, did your parents not let you bring your weapon to school either?" Anko was starting to wonder how much work these genin would need to get into shape.

"No, I keep my weapon sealed in scroll that I have with me at all times. I only draw it out when I need it. Kenji has been asking me to teach him how to do that but I really haven't had time. Besides he likes to show off carrying that huge sword around. I swear it's like he's trying to compensate for something."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" If there was one thing Kenji hated, it was when someone pulled the whole compensation joke.

"Okay, one more question. Why don't you want to be the Aizawa clan heir? Isn't being a clan head supposed to be a great honor?" That question was just really nagging Anko.

"Well, I'm not meant to be the clan heir. The Aizawa clan isn't like other clans. You can refuse to become clan heir and pass the title onto the next closest family member. But there's a limit on how many times in each generation this can happen; otherwise nobody would ever become the clan head. Once the limit is reached and your named the heir, you can't refuse the title," Chihiro really hated having to explain how her weird family worked.

"But why doesn't anyone in your family want to be the clan head?" This was rather confusing.

"Being the clan head isn't as big of an honor in my family as it is with others. Where other clan heads have an easy time just controlling how their clan is run and making sure everything is going smoothly, our clan head has a much tougher job. My clan is known for it's wild parties. Because of this, a lot of our members get in deep shit. Usually about half of the Aizawa men land in jail after the wilder parties. It's the clan head's job to clean up their mess, bust them out of jail, and apologize to whoever they managed to piss off. So you see, it's not a very pleasant job," she glanced at her companions after she was finished explaining. They all had rather amazed looks on their faces.

"Wow! Your future job sucks!" And of course the first one to break the awkward silence was Kenji.

"Hey! Don't rub it in! At least I don't need to get Mommy's permission to carry around my weapon." Oooh, burn.

"Guys, you shouldn't argue like this. Chihiro-chan, I'm sure being the clan head won't be that bad," Shinju honestly didn't know how to deal with the whole clan heir thing. She knew Chihiro would rather eat dirt than be the clan heir, but it couldn't be helped.

"Okay, enough chit-chat. I want all of you here bright and early tomorrow morning at seven, so we can begin training. Is that understood?"

They all nodded in understanding at this; but they had no idea what kind of hell they were going to go through tomorrow.

**Alright! Second chapter is done! I hope you all liked it.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I finally got the third chapter done after wrestling with a butt-load of ideas. I think I made a good choice on how this chapter will go. Sorry, I realized that I forgot to mention how they were their headbands. Well, enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I don't even own the socks that I'm wearing right now.**

**Team N…Sanity**

**Chapter 3: Dango and Decoys**

At seven o'clock that morning everyone had arrived bright eyed and ready for action.

"Oh my god! It's _too_ early!" Okay, everyone wasn't bright eyed or ready for action. Although Chihiro and Kenji were unfazed by early hour, Shinju wasn't used to waking up so early on a Saturday.

"Don't worry Shinju. Training will probably fly right by. Then you can go home and crash in your comfy bed," Kenji's words weren't helping. If anything, they were only making Shinju want her bed more.

"Uhgg! Where is Anko-sensei!? She said to be here at seven and it's already five minutes past seven! If she doesn't get here soon, I'm going home to bed! Screw that bitch and her early training!" Chihiro and Kenji stared wide-eyed at Shinju's rather loud declaration. Even though they were all close friends, neither one of them had ever seen Shinju before eight o'clock in the morning. Now they knew why.

"Well, your in luck Shinju. Because I'm here," the voice coming from the trees above startled all three of the genin. They hadn't even noticed her. "I guess this means we're gonna have to work on detecting chakra, but that'll come later. Right now I have a little test for you maggots," the grin on her face became wider as she said this.

"What kind of test?" Chihiro asked suspicious. She was leaning against a tree, wearing the same outfit she had worn before. Her hitai-ate was proudly displayed loosely around her neck.

"Yeah, we passed the academy test. So, why the hell do we need to take another test?" Kenji was severely pissed. The reason he had worked his ass off at the last minute was so he could graduate this year and never have to take another test. His precious sword was strapped onto his back. It was amazingly large and had spikes coming out of the blunt sides. He was dressed in his usual attire with his hitai-ate tied around his left upper arm.

"What's this new test supposed to prove anyway?" Fortunately, Shinju was her normal calm self once again. She sat cross-legged on the ground. Her hair was held back by her hitai-ate.

"I'm glad you asked. Just because you passed the academy test, doesn't mean that you're genin yet. You don't become genin until _I_ say so. Hence the reason you need to pass this test," the ecstatic look on the jonin's face was almost enough to make the three poor kids scared for their lives. "Now the point of this exercise is to figure out a way to obtain two bells from me. If you're gonna get it, you're gonna have to come at me for real," she reached into one of her pockets to pull out the bells. Suddenly, her eyes widened slightly, only to search through her pockets frantically. "Aww, crap. Don't tell me that I forgot them. Oh well, I'll just find something else." With a bit more rummaging, she found a small box. From the box, she took out two sticks of dango. "Well, I was saving these for later, but they'll do. Now, only two of you can pass this test. The one who doesn't pass gets sent back to the academy."

"WHAT!?!?!?!?" The three fear-stricken genin cried out.

"That's right. You have until noon. If no one manages to get one, then nobody passes and you're all sent back to the academy. Doesn't that sound fun, Kiddies?" It was official. Anko-sensei was insane. "Well, you better get started, or you're gonna end up back in the academy for sure."

With that said, the three genin quickly escaped into the trees to figure out what to do. Several different strategies were running through their minds.

'If I can take out the other two, it shouldn't be a problem for me to retrieve the dango. I don't really want to hurt them, but I don't want to be sent back to the academy. Shinju won't be a problem, but it's going to be hard to defeat Chihiro. I'd have to get her by sneak attack.' Kenji was nervous. He had only one shot at trying to take out Chihiro. If he missed, it would be all over.

'Aww, damn it. If all three of us could pass, maybe I could have helped them both. One of them will have to be sent back. I hate having choose sides. Well, seeing as how I'm still pissed off at Kenji, I guess he's the one to go,' with that thought in her mind, Chihiro made her decision.

'I don't understand. Why would they put us on a team, only to pit us against each other. It just doesn't make sense. Aren't missions supposed to be carried out by three-man teams? If that's so, then eliminating one person would blow that out of the water. Unless…' Shinju took off to find her friends. She had finally figured it out and needed to tell Chihiro and Kenji before they killed each other.

She quickly found Chihiro, who was hot on the trail of Kenji. "Chihiro-chan, wait! You can't eliminate Kenji-kun from the test!"

"Why the hell not?! Lord knows, he deserves it!" She wasn't used to raising her voice to Shinju, but she had to go through with the plan.

"No! Don't you see? This test isn't about strength or skill. It's about teamwork. If we can work as a team to get the dango, then we can all pass."

"Hmm, you have a point. To tell you the truth, I was going to defeat Kenji, so that you and I could pass. But now, I have a better plan. We can't tell Kenji though."

"Why not?" Shinju didn't understand how they could work as a team if Kenji didn't realize they were.

"Trust me. Nobody knows Kenji like I do. Right now, he's searching for me. If we keep away, then soon he'll see that time is running out. He'll get desperate and attack Anko-sensei trying to get the dango in time. Then we'll strike." It seemed this plan could actually work.

Sure enough, with only fifteen minutes left, Kenji suddenly ran into the clearing where Anko was waiting for them. His large sword was drawn and he looked like he was serious, which was a first. While Anko was distracted by the rampaging swordsman, Chihiro popped up behind her and pulled out the two dango sticks. Quick as a flash, she disappeared and reappeared a few yards away with Shinju by her side.

"Time's up Anko-sensei. We all pass!" Shinju declared this cheerfully.

"What?!" Anko had seriously been hoping that they wouldn't pass. That way she wouldn't be stuck with a bunch of maggots for the next few years.

"That's right! It was all part of our master plan. While Kenji distracted you, we snuck up and took the prize. Now, is that teamwork or what?!" Chihiro was amused by the clueless look on Kenji's face.

"HUH!? What the hell just happened!? Did all of us really pass? And why did I have to be the fucking decoy!? Is it because I'm the only guy here?" To say Kenji was pissed was an understatement. The only thing the girls could do was smile at the poor, clueless male.

"Well, I guess I'm stuck with you brats. Congratulations, you all passed. You're all now officially genin. And you know what that means?" Anko had a seriously crazed look on her face.

The poor genin were wondering where this was headed.

"Today is the first day of your lives as shinobi under my training. And training with me is going to be the closest thing to hell you're probably ever going to experience."

One thought traveled through the minds of all three genin.

'Oh crap. I think I just shit myself.'

**Well, R&R. Sting is starting to get pissed that he's the only one who reviews. And I know that none of you want a bad mother like Sting coming and throwing rocks at you or anything. So, you've been warned.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four is mostly meant to be a humorous filler. So, enjoy the slight randomness. I'm sorry this chapter is shorter than the others. It's just here for amusement and doesn't really have any other special purpose.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, I would drive a super sweet Mustang, instead of my crap-tacular Hyundai. **

**Team N…Sanity**

**Chapter 4: Psycho Sensei**

It was at ten o'clock the next morning when they met for training. They were a little confused that Anko had told them to come so late. It all made sense though, when Chihiro told them that her brothers had seen Anko at the bar getting drunk off her ass last night. They didn't have to wait very long before a disheveled Anko arrived.

"Ok Maggots, go ahead and start training. I'll just stay here and try to get rid of my headache." 'Damn! Why the hell did I have soooo much to drink!?' Anko was _not_ a happy camper.

Training was going pretty good for the first hour. Unfortunately, it was then that Chihiro started to act bitchier than usual. She was going all psycho out on Kenji's ass.

"What the hell crawled up your ass and died today?" a pissed Kenji asked. After yesterday's event of being the screwed over minority, he didn't want to have his ass handed to him today.

Upon hearing this, Chihiro stomped over to where Anko was resting beneath a tree. She quickly whispered something into Anko's ear.

The hung-over woman opened her eyes and gave a slight nod. "Alright, you can go on home." Chihiro quickly did just that.

Anko's declaration was swiftly met with a barrage of insults from none other than Kenji.

"WTF?! Anko-sensei! Why does Chihiro get to go home, and I have to stay here? She was doing just fine, kicking my ass! If anyone should get to go home, it's ME! Why do you have to be such a sexist bitch, Anko-sensei?!" Kenji's face was tomato red with anger.

Anko just stared at him. For once, her face showed no emotion. Her eyes soon narrowed though. "Thirty laps around the training grounds," was all she said.

"Whaaaaaaat!? That's fucking insane!"

"Care to make it forty?" was her only reply.

"Fine, I'll take your stupid forty laps, you sexist dictator!" He said this with a smug look on his face.

"Fifty laps, with the sword on your back," Anko finished giving out Kenji's punishment with a gleefull look on her face.

Kenji's mouth just about hit the ground when he heard this.

"You better get started, if you want to finish before dark," Anko was so enjoying this. "Go on, get going Maggot!"

With that, Kenji started his laps around the training grounds with his sword securely strapped to his back. He wasn't at all happy, and everyone could tell. As he ran, he shouted curses to his loathsome sensei.

"Goddamn you psychotic bitch! I hope you fucking die! I hate you so much! Why don't you go to hell and never come back! I hope you eat shit and die, you sexist motherfucker!"

"Wow, he sure does know a lot of words for a twelve-year-old," Shinju said rather embarrassed. The two kunoichi just sat back and watched the show. They ate popcorn as they did this. Although, neither of them knew how they had got it.

Only a half hour later, Chihiro came back in a much better mood. As she came closer, she couldn't help but notice a string of curses being yelled. When she got to the spot where Anko and Shinju were sitting, she saw the source of the noise. It was a rather amusing sight. As Kenji circled the grounds, his voice would get louder as he was near them. When he was farther away, his voice was only a murmur in the distance.

"What's going on, Anko-sensei? Why is Kenji running laps?"

"After hearing that you got to go home, he smarted off. So, I decided to bring his ego down a notch and punish him," was her sensei's reply.

"Didn't you tell him that I'd be back in thirty minutes?" Chihiro knew how Kenji usually reacted to girls getting special treatment.

"Now, what would've been the fun in that? Popcorn?" asked Anko as she handed the bag to Chihiro. She quickly took the offered snack from her sensei at sat down beside them to watch the show. Meanwhile, the curses just continued.

"Fuck you and your popcorn, Bitches!"

**Well, there you go. Once again, R&R. I have really big friends, and it wouldn't feel good if they came and sat on you, just because you didn't review. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Before you ask, yes, this is another filler. Sting and I both thought this was a funny idea for a chapter. So enjoy.**

**I just realized after reading over the first few chapters that I forgot to say that the story begins three years before the beginning of the series. Sorry.**

**Disclaimer: I'm not rich enough to own Naruto. I'm not even rich enough to own it on DVD.**

**Team N…Sanity**

**Chapter 5: Birth of a Pervert**

It was a beautiful day in Konoha. The sun was shining brightly. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. The birds were singing cheerfully. The best part of all was that Team Two had the day off.

Now, most people would think that since this particular team was so close, they would want to spend their day off together. Due to Shinju's private training session with her mom and Kenji's new found resentment towards women, this assumption would be wrong.

After his rather disastrous training session the day before, Kenji went home and locked himself in his room. He refused to talk to any woman, including his mom. Yesterday's events had only strengthened his idea that all women were psychotic and evil by nature. His dad had told him that this mindset would change when he got older; but Kenji didn't believe him.

'Humph! Shows how much he knows. He just doesn't notice it because he's been around Mom so long. He's just become use to the insanity.' This idea was firmly planted in his mind.

Around one o'clock, he became restless. He was so accustomed to being around other people that the solitude was messing with his head. So, he decided to walk around Konoha. For some reason, when he approached the library, he remembered a past argument he had with Chihiro.

_Aww… the magic of flashbacks…_

_"What the hell are you reading today," it never ceased to amaze him how Chihiro read a different book a day. It took him two weeks to finish an entire book._

_"_Lolita_," she said. She really didn't want to have to explain to him what the book was about. But of course, when you don't want something to happen, it usually does._

_"What the hell is that about." He had never even heard of that book. Then again, he had never heard of most of the books that Chihiro read._

_"Well, if you must know. It's about lecherous men and their chauvinistic tendencies." She decided that the best tactic was to just use a lot of big words and he would leave her alone. _

_"Jeez, cut down on the big words, you bookworm bitch!" he yelled and walked away. He didn't care to admit that he hadn't understood half of what she said._

_"Yeah, well get a dictionary, you illiterate asshole!"_

…_End of magical flashback._

He didn't know why, but suddenly he walked into the library. It had been so long since he had been there last that he didn't know where to start. As he passed a young librarian, she told him that she had seen his little girlfriend head toward one of the backrooms earlier.

'WTF! I don't have a girlfriend! Oh well, I better go see who the hell she was talking about.' So, he decided to find this "girlfriend" of his. He should have realized that there were only two girls that he ever hung out with, and one of them was stuck at home getting their ass handed to them by their mom.

There were several backrooms to the Konoha Library. Most of them held old books that nobody ever seemed to read anymore. A few held newer books that hadn't been placed on the shelves yet. One room, however, held books of an entirely different genre.

Kenji entered the room without noticing the "No one under 18 may enter" sign. After a swift glance, he noticed Chihiro sitting at a table in one of the dark corners of the room. She was concentrating on reading and hadn't noticed him approaching.

"What are you doing?" He wanted to know what was so interesting that she didn't even sense him.

"Research," was her only reply.

"What the fuck kind of research? You aren't trying to find new ways to kick my ass, are you?" He didn't know why she was being so secretive.

"Why the hell are you so curious? It's not like you need to know about this shit!" Chihiro just wanted to have a nice quiet afternoon away from her crazy family. What she did with that quiet time was nobody's business, but her own.

"I just wanted to know what's so goddamn interesting back here." He was a bit confused when Chihiro suddenly got up quietly and walked farther into the dark corner. Kenji almost had a heartattack when his ear was abruptly pulled by a cold, wrinkled hand.

"Sato Kenji! You shouldn't be in this room! What would your mother say!?" the old librarian screeched, as she yanked his ear.

Kenji franticly looked around the room to find Chihiro, but she was gone. He glanced down at the cover of the book she was reading. As the librarian pulled him away, he only saw the last word of the title, _Paradise._ The old broad pulled him by his ear through the library. When they reached the door, she picked him up and threw him like a javelin out the door.

'Damn, that old bitch can really throw,' was his first conscious thought after ungracefully landing on his head. "Why the hell didn't Chihiro get in trouble?" It finally occurred to him that Chihiro must have used her intangibility jutsu to walk right through the wall, while he got in trouble. 'That backstabbing bitch left me with the blame! What was she even reading in there anyway!' Curiousity finally overpowered Kenji and he set off to the Aizawa compound.

Chihiro's house was on the outskirts of Konoha and it was _huge._ There were actually very good reasons for this. As often mentioned, the Aizawa clan was famous for their wild parties, and it wouldn't do to keep the entire village up all night with the noise. The fact that the compound was bigger than both the Hyuga and Uchiha compounds combined was because the Aizawas were also famous for being prolific breeders. Chihiro and her father were both among broods of six. Chihiro's grandfather, however, had been one of seventeen children.

This was probably why, in the future, half of Uchiha Sasuke's list of people to help him revive his clan was made up of Aizawa women.

It usually took him a while to find Chihiro's room, since it was further into the quieter part of the house. But using his super speedy ninja skills, it took him less than two minutes to find it. He had to watch out for the _Home Alone_-style traps that she had placed in her room though.

After dodging several swinging paint cans, fiery torches, and nails jutting out of the floor around her door, Kenji finally made it to the trap-free zone. He had to think for a minute about where Chihiro hid her stuff. Digging around her closet and searching under her bed had gotten him nowhere. Looking over at the book shelf, he saw something that didn't seem quite right.

'_Wuthering Heights?_ I thought Chihiro hated this book. So, why the hell would she own the deluxe hardcover edition?' This thought puzzled him. The book was especially large and heavy. His question was answered, however, when he opened it to find that the middle had been expertly cut out and inside were several smaller books. He took out the stack of books and looked through them. Midway through his hunt, he found the book that Chihiro must have been reading in the library.

"Ooooh, so it's _Icha Icha Paradise_. I've never heard of this book." No one knew that a person's life could so easily be changed by simply opening a book.

After an hour of bloody noses from reading the entoxicating literature, he heard the bedroom door open. Kenji geniously escaped by jumping out of Chihiro's conveniently open window. The impact to the ground may have hurt like hell, but with any luck it was just Riku coming to check on his sister and he wouldn't be too suspicious of the messy, empty room.

Two hours later, Kenji had found the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. After almost being caught in Chihiro's room, he had searched for something to occupy his time. He found the motherload, as he passed by a pond where two teenage Hyuga girls just happened to be skinny dipping. It was behind a large bush that he sat down and basked in the perverted glory. Kenji finally realized what his life had been missing. Women weren't evil. They were a God's gift to men.

"Kenji-baka, what are you doing?" Unfortunately, his taste of heaven was abruptly cut short by a familiar voice. Chihiro didn't want to go home and so decided to just wander aimlessly. It was here that she noticed Kenji, with blood dripping from his nose and his eyes glued on something beyond the bush. She stepped around the bush and almost fainted from shock at the sight before her. Coming back to where Kenji sat, her face was red from embarrassment and anger. "You fucking pervert!" she yelled as she smacked him hard on top of his head. His face collided with the ground for the third time that day.

"Owww! What the hell is that for!?" his volume was at maximum. He had forgotten about the two women he had been spying on. To his surprise, two more pairs of fists came from behind him to clobber him.

"You go girls! Beat the living shit out of him!" came Chihiro's cheers from a few feet away. Although she would have liked to be the one to punish him, she was fine with sitting back and enjoying the spectacle before her. It was a shame that Kenji hadn't noticed the two women had gotten out of the water and dressed, otherwise he might have escaped.

After several minutes of getting a taste of the Hyuga fighting style, the girls finally decided that he had enough and went on their merry way home.

"I hope you learned your lesson," Chihiro said smugly before leaving.

Kenji had learned his lesson alright. He had come to the conclusion that not all girls were evil, just the fully clothed ones.

**Yay! One more chapter done. Remember to R&R because Sting still has access to rocks and he can find anyone on google.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Once again, another filler. I don't know what exactly we're leading up to, but I'm sure it's going to be a good one.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, there would be way more hot guys in it. (Sting: "Fuck you! There's hardly any girls, the way it is!" Ino: "What about me?" Sting: blinks twice, then laughs uncontrollably, until he passes out from lack of oxygen.)**

**Team N…Sanity**

**Chapter 6: I Hate Kids**

It wasn't until the next morning that Kenji managed to pick himself up off the ground and limp home.

'Damn, why did it have to be Hyuga girls. If they didn't notice me with those eyes, then they deserved to be spied on.'

He finally arrived home at about 5 o'clock and went to bed. Unfortunately, his alarm clock went off an hour later. He picked up the annoying device and threw it at the wall, where it made a nice shattering sound. The peace didn't last long though. His mother came into his room to wake him up.

"Why aren't you up yet? You're training is in half an hour," his mother's voice was the last thing he wanted to hear right now.

"Call in sick for me, Mom. I just got eight trigrams to fuck-ville last night," he was wondering why Anko couldn't have chosen last night to get drunk off her ass.

After a lot of arguing with his mother, he went to training, wearing the same thing he had worn yesterday. On his way to the training grounds, he had run into two trees and a brick wall, due to his fatigue. He was cursing everything there was about Chihiro. Except the purple hair, he still got a chuckle out of that.

As soon as he arrived at the training grounds, Anko took them to Hokage tower for their very first mission assignment. Kenji was stoned from fatigue, until he realized it was his first mission. Then he was back to his usual chipper self.

They all stood in front of the Sandaime Hokage, waiting for him to give them their assignment.

"Since you are new genin, your first mission shall be a D-rank," the old man told them.

"Umm… question! Does our sensei have to come with us?" of course Kenji was the one to ask this.

"Yes."

"Damn," he said, without skipping a beat.

"Your first mission will be babysitting a class of academy students while their sensei is on a special mission," the Hokage announced.

"NOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo!" Yes, if your wondering, Kenji just hit puberty at that exact moment.

"What's wrong," Shinju asked.

"I _hate_ kids," was his reply.

"But you were a kid once," she said. Shinju hadn't known this fact about him.

"Yeah! But I didn't hate myself, like some Uchiha bastard!" Kenji said smartly.

"Well, we can't leave the kiddies waiting. Let's go, Maggots!" Anko lead the way to the playground. It was completely deserted when they got there.

"Where are all the kids?" Chihiro was wondering when the madness would begin.

They didn't have to wait long as a large pack of nine-year-olds came running towards them. Upon seeing this, Kenji quickly started running away. He didn't get very far, however, due to Anko grabbing him by the collar of his jacket. Kenji thought he would cry, as the hyperactive kids surrounded him.

"Woooow…You're taaaall," one little girl said as she stared up at Kenji.

"…Thank you…Pink-haired child," Kenji wondered if somebody had spiked this girl's shampoo bottle. If so, he wanted to shake the guy's hand.

"Whoa! Look at that freakin' awesome sword!" exclaimed one boy with red marks on his cheeks.

"Why thank you. It is pretty impressive isn't it?" Kenji said proudly. At this, Chihiro smacked her forehead in frustration and Shinju had a puzzled look on her face.

"Wow! I love your hair! Is it _really_ purple?" an annoying blonde girl asked. Kenji tried to contain his laughter when he heard this.

"…Yes…" Chihiro didn't want to explain her hair color to a bunch of brats.

While all this unfolded, Anko just napped under a shady tree. She wasn't a kid-person either, and she didn't want to get too involved with her students' first mission.

Kenji was starting to get freaked out by all the little children around him. Chihiro decided to be uncharacteristicly kind and help him out. She quickly ran at Shinju and lightly tapped her on the arm.

"TAG! You're it!" As soon as she yelled this, all the children immediately scattered.

"Wow, why didn't I think of that?" Kenji was honestly amazed at Chihiro's mad babysitting skills.

It wasn't long and two boys had started fighting. Kenji was all for just watching the knock-out drag-out fight, but Chihiro gave him a look that said 'Do it or die'. So, he decided he better go break it up.

"Hey, Uzumaki! Uchiha! Knock it off, or I'll bury you up to your necks in dirt!" The boys reluctantly quit fighting at this exclamation. Although, it wasn't too long and they were fighting again. Kenji was seriously starting to get pissed off at these two psycho kids. 'Geez, it's like they want to kill each other or something.' This time he had to physically pry the two off of each other.

"You better watch it! Someday I'm gonna be Hokage! Then you'll have to respect me!" the blonde kid shouted indignantly.

"Yeah, Yeah. Keep telling yourself that, Kid. Until then, if I catch you two fighting again, I'm going to throw you into the Hokage monument by a rope tied to your ankles!" Kenji wasn't going to put up with this crap all day long. Hopefully the day would get better.

As the day wore on, the three genin actually did bond with the kids. Shinju had fun braiding Sakura and Ino's hair and playing games with Naruto. Chihiro picked flowers with Hinata, looked for bugs with Shino, and ignored Sasuke's weird stares. Kenji had a great time cloud gazing with Choji and Shikamaru and racing Kiba.

Three o'clock came too quickly. The genin had to say good-bye, as parents, older siblings, and other family members came to pick up the kids. They came and went until there was only one child left, Hinata. It was only a matter of time before two pale-eyed teenage girls came to pick up their younger cousin. Kenji tried to hide himself behind Chihiro and Shinju as he recognized them.

"Hey! Isn't that the little pervert who spied on us last night!"

'Oh, crap! They recognized me! Think fast!' "Uh…no! That was my… twin brother… Jenki! Umm…gotta go!" Kenji ran away as if his life depended on it. He definitely didn't want another night of eight trigram hell.

**Well, there you go. I hope you got a few chuckles from this chapter. R&R. **

**Sting: She finally decided to throw in the actual Naruto characters just 'cause the story was lacking something.**

**D-C: Thanks for the explanaition, genius. **

**Sting: Quiet, before I color your hair green. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Hiyo! Sorry, I haven't updated in a few days. I know it's an overused excuse but I've been really sick. **

**Well, you finally get to see the heroes in action. That's right! You'll finally see how they fight.**

**Disclaimer: Zzzzzzz…huh? Oh, that was a nice dream. It's pretty obvious that I don't own Naruto.**

**Team N…Sanity**

**Chapter 7: Gotcha! Oh, wait! Uh oh… **

Training was scheduled at seven as usual. Team 2 arrived eagerly to see what today's training would be. It wasn't long and their sensei arrived.

"Alright Maggots! We're going to be doing some real sparring today. None of that fake academy kid stuff. First up will be Chihiro and Shinju. Whoever wins will go against Kenji next," Anko announced to the genin.

The two girls walked into the training field. They stared at each other as they both took their stances.

"Let's make this a good one, Shin-chan," Chihiro said to her friend with a smile on her face. Shinju nodded in reply.

The battle started with Shinju charging at her friend, her fingernails suddenly growing six inches longer. Seconds before the claws made contact with her, Chihiro sank into the ground. She rose up behind Shinju and sent her flying with a firm kick in the back.

Shinju recovered quickly and used a wind release jutsu. Chihiro was hit squarely by the gust and flew straight toward a group of trees. She became intangible and passed right through the trees uninjured. Shinju teleported to where Chihiro had landed. As she stood over her fallen comrade, Chihiro's body turned into a log. It wasn't long before two hands came out of the ground and grabbed Shinju's legs. Shinju was slowly pulled into the ground until only her head was above it.

"Looks like I win this round, Shin-chan," Chihiro said as she rose up in front of Shinju. She then helped her friend out of the ground.

"That was an entertaining battle. I can see that you both still need some work, but not bad for a couple of maggots." That was probably the closest thing to a compliment that they were going to get out of Anko.

"Alright! It's my turn now!" Kenji was excited. He would finally get a chance to show Chihiro just how much he had improved.

"Let's see if you're more than just talk, Ken-chan," Chihiro jokingly told him. She also wanted to see what his training had amounted to.

A few seconds passed after they took their stances. Chihiro was the first to act this time. She sunk into the ground and tried to grab Kenji's legs as she had done before with Shinju. Kenji didn't sink very far before he used earth jutsu to push himself back up. Then he tried to force Chihiro out of the ground, but it didn't seem to work on her.

He unsheathed his sword and franticly looked around. Chihiro could pop up anywhere at any time. He heard a noise behind him and whipped around. His massive sword clashed with Chihiro's huge five bladed katar. Chihiro jumped away and sent a water blast at him. Kenji avoided this with a rock shield.

While the shield was still up, Chihiro charged straight through it and landed a punch on Kenji's face. Before she could land another blow, Kenji kicked her away. As Kenji sent a huge chunk of earth flying at her, Chihiro performed a fire ball jutsu at the same moment. The two jutsu hit each other and cancelled each other out in a blast of molten and charred rock. The blast sent both shinobi flying backwards.

"That's enough you two! I can see that we have a lot to work on, but I think you've all had enough training for today. Dismissed!" Anko declared.

"Wow! I can't believe she let us off so easy today. She must be in one hell of a good mood." Kenji really was amazed at Anko's behavior.

"Yeah, what's up with that?" Shinju was still in awe of her teammates' match.

"Katsu-niisan told me that he's seen Anko-sensei with a guy for several nights at the bar." Figures, Chihiro's older brother knew everything that happened in Konoha at night.

"Well, that explains a lot. Hiro-chan, why didn't you use your possession jutsu on Shinju or me? Wouldn't it have been easier?" Kenji was satisfied that he had been able to hold his own, but that question was bothering him.

"Yeah, you told me that your dad taught it to you a few weeks ago," Shinju knew that her friend had been excited about the new jutsu. She thought that Chihiro would want to show it off to everyone.

"Well, I don't think I have it down yet. It's one of my family's most complicated jutsu. If I was to screw up on it, I'd cause a lot of damage. So, I don't want to try it on you guys until I'm sure that it's perfect." It was true. Unlike the Yamanaka's possession jutsu, the Aizawa's was more user-friendly. The one performing it had no fear of becoming injured while in the host's body. The jutsu was more complicated though and if done wrong could do a lot of internal damage to the host's body.

"Well, I'm working on some new jutsu myself. So when you do have it mastered, you can fight me and we'll see who the better shinobi is," Kenji bragged. "Although, I don't think you're gonna stand a chance against my new tricks. Even with your wimpy…"

"Hey! Aren't those the Hyugas from before?" Chihiro exclaimed and pointed in no particular direction.

"Ahhh! Hide me!" Kenji screamed as he ran off towards his home.

"Haha! That was hilarious, Hiro-chan!" Shinju couldn't believe that Chihiro had just faked Kenji out like that.

"Haha, what can I say? I know how to get to Ken-chan." Chihiro was glad that she had got Kenji out of her hair. She really couldn't stand him when he was in his bragging moods. "Wow, I guess all that running must be paying off. I can't even see him now."

**Yay! You can all celebrate now because the new chapter is up!**

**Sting: About time! What took you so long you lazy ass!**

**D-C: I told you I was sick! Wait a minute! You should know this, because you're the one who IMed me to make sure I wasn't dead! **

**Sting: Well, you still could've updated while you were sick!**

**D-C: Oh right! Like I'm gonna update while I'm stoned out of my mind on cough medicine. The worst part is that the stoned state lasts for about 3-4 hours and by then it's time for the next dose.**

**Sting: You could've skipped a dose.**

**D-C: You forget that my mother is the medicine lady. I don't go to the drugs. The drugs come to me. So there is absolutely no way to skip a dose.**

**Sting: Wow. Your life sucks.**

**D-C: Ya think!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Yay! Another chapter in the saga! This chapter's main purpose is to be the opening for a big mission that will be several chapters long. It also serves as an introduction to everyone's families. **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, Hinata would have way more screen time and a love interest who actually pays attention to her.**

**Team N… Sanity**

**Chapter 8: Off on a Mission, We Go!**

It was a bright and sunny day. The team gathered in the Hokage's tower for their newest mission. They already knew that it would be yet another D-rank mission. The young shinobi weren't excited about this prospect to say the least. After all, you can only catch that stupid cat and take care of a bunch of brats so many times before it gets old. 

"You're next mission will be a higher in difficulty D-rank mission," the Hokage announced to them.

"Umm…how is it going to be more difficult? Aren't D-rank missions pretty much equivalent to chores?" Kenji asked. 

"For this mission, you will be expected to leave Konoha for five days. In the village of Kairo, there is a restaurant that is in dire need of help in the next few days. A few of their workers have family troubles to deal with. So, you will be their substitutes at the restaurant. If you leave in the next hour, you should arrive by nightfall. Good luck." With that the Hokage dismissed them.

"Go pack and meet me at the village gates in an hour, Maggots!" Anko ordered in her usual drill sergeant tone. The genin split up to pack.

_Chihiro's House_

Chihiro was in her room packing the necessities, when a knock came to her door. "Come in, Riku-nichan."

"Hiro-nechan, I just wanted to wish you good luck on your mission. Be sure to kick some ass for me too!" her little brother, Riku exclaimed.

"I'm pretty sure the only ass I'm going to be kicking while I'm gone is Kenji-kun's. It is just a D-rank after all," she told him with a smile.

"Aww… it's hard to believe our wittle baby sister is going on her first mission outside the village!" A loud voice came from outside the door. Her two older brothers, Isamu and Katsu, entered the room.

"Yeah, it seems just like yesterday that Okasan was trying to wrestle you into a pink kimono to show off your cuteness to all her friends, and now look at you. You're a little purple-haired shinobi in the making," Katsu added to his older brother's comment.

Chihiro pushed passed her laughing brothers, as she exited her room.  
She made her way to the kitchen to see if Keiko had finished packing the food that she'd need. 

"Good luck on your mission, Nechan," her oldest sister, Kaori said as she passed with her baby daughter, Mayu, in her arms.

"I've got all your food packed and ready to go, Hiro-nechan!" her older sister exclaimed as she ran out of the kitchen with a bulging bag food in her hands.

"You do realize that my mission is working in a restaurant, Keiko-nechan. I don't think that food is going to be scarce." Sometimes, Keiko could be a bit psycho when it came to planning things out.

"It may be a D-rank mission, but even the safest of missions can suddenly turn dangerous. So watch yourself," Keiko explained to her little sister. "You better go see Okasan and Otousan before you leave."

"Sorry, but if I don't leave now I'll be late. Tell them I said bye," she told her sister as she left to go meet her team.

_Kenji's House_

"Hey, try not to die on your mission, Kenji-nichan," his older brother, Daichi told him. Kenji was just about to leave and he didn't feel like putting up with his brother's crap before his mission.

"Yeah, and you try not to get hit with a shuriken by that psycho you call a girlfriend," he replied. "Hey! I'm leaving on my mission and I won't be back for about five days," he said to his parents through their bedroom door.

"Okay, have fun!" his mom yelled back at him.

"Try not to die, Son!" was his father's reply.

'Jeez! What is it with everyone thinking that I'm going to die on this mission! Does my family really have that little faith in me!' with that thought he was off to meet his teammates.

_Shinju's House_

Shinju had just finished packing. Her little sister, Emi, had been pestering her the entire time, wanting to know all the details of the mission.

"So how long will this mission take? How far are you going? What all are you going to do? After this mission, will you be allowed to do C-ranks?" And the questions wore on. Needless to say, she wanted out of the house as quickly as possible. 

"You weren't going to leave without saying good bye were you? Well, be careful on your mission and in case of an emergency, use what I've taught you," her mother told her as she was about to leave.

"Ok, I will Okasan." Shinju quickly headed out to the village gates.

_Konoha Gates_

"If all you Maggots are ready, then let's go!" Anko's commanding voice rang out. As they exited Konoha's gates, the same thoughts went through the minds of all three genin. 'I wonder what's going to happen on this mission' and 'I wonder how our folks are going to get along with us gone for five days'

_That Night_

The parents of all three genin had gathered in their usual meeting place, one of Konoha's smaller bars. They were seated at a round table in a corner. One could here loud sobs emitting from one of the female occupants.

"I can't believe that my baby left without saying good bye! It's her first mission outside of the village and she might never come back!" tears were flowing from the woman's eyes as she said this. Her husband sat next to her, ignoring her cries as he drank his sake.

"Oh, come on! It's just a D-rank mission, Koyuri! Chihiro is a big girl and can take care of herself," he said after he had finished his first cup.

"Ryouta is right. Noriko and I aren't the least bit worried about Kenji," the man sitting across from them said.

"In fact, we're hoping that Daichi will get a mission. That way we can have the house all to ourselves for a few days," as she said this, she gave her husband a suggestive look.

"Wow, it'd be nice if we could get all of our children out of the house. With six kids, that never happens," Ryouta admitted.

"Anyway, Shirou and Noriko have a point. This mission will help our children learn and grow stronger," Shinju's mom added.

"I know, Suzume, but it's just so hard letting my baby go on this mission. Anything can happen outside the village gates. It may just be a D-rank mission, but we all know that even the most routine of missions can go wrong," Koyuri admitted to her friends.

"Don't worry. If anything does happen, I know that our children can handle it," Ryouta reassured his wife. The rest of the evening passed with casual conversation between the five jounin. Any worries they had of their children were put to rest for the moment.

**There's the chappie. I know, I probably shouldn't have focused so much on their families in this chapter, but in later chapters and a possible spin-off story, their families are going to have bigger roles. Anyway, I hoped y'all enjoyed it. Unfortunately, I don't have Sting with me right now, since he is on vacation with his family, but I can still send him after you when he gets back. So please, READ AND REVIEW!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Sting says that if I don't have at least three chapters by the time he gets back, he's going to hurt me like he did last week. Since I don't feel like sustaining another head injury, here's the second chapter. The third will be on the way. **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, it wouldn't take six episodes to show one fight scene.**

**Team N…Sanity**

**Chapter 9: Mission Inedible**

Team 2 had reached Kairo by nightfall. The travel weary ninjas quickly checked into the hotel that was right next door to the restaurant. All the shinobi slept well that night in preparation for the long days ahead. As soon as the sun came up, they were already on their way next door. 

"What the-. What retard came up with the restaurant name?" a surprised Kenji exclaimed, when he saw the sign displaying the restaurant's name. "What the hell kind of a name is NINJA BURGER?"

"I'm guessing that it's one of those stupid family fast-food restaurants with ridiculous themes. At least, it's not Circus Burger. I don't think I could put up with clowns," Chihiro explained to him.

"Aww, but I like clowns," Shinju said looking slightly disappointed.

"To hell with that! I'd probably have to commit seppuku if I had to work in a place called Circus Burger!" Anko added, as they went into the restaurant. They were immediately met by a man dressed in all-black stereotypical ninja attire. 

"Hiya! Welcome to Ninja Burger, home of the ninja burger. May I show you to your seats and take your order?" the strangely dressed man asked.

"Uh… we're the ninja that were sent to work here for the next few days," Anko explained to him.

"Oh! I'm sorry. It's just so hard to see with these masks on. I'm so happy that you've come to help us out. I am Yagami, the manager," the man explained. He took off his mask, revealing a young acne covered face. 

'Great, we're gonna have to work for some wussy nerd, who's just outta school,' was the thought going through Kenji's mind. 

"Wow, you aren't dressed like ninja at all," Yagami added after getting a clear look at them.

"Yeah, well you've been watching too many shitty kung-fu movies. Real shinobi don't dress like emo-goth-nerds," Kenji shot back.

"What Kenji-baka means to say, is that real ninja rarely dress in the stereotypical ninja attire that is often shown in the media," Chihiro explained to him.

"Thanks for the translation, bookworm bitch," Kenji muttered the last part under is breath, so he wouldn't get in trouble.

"We don't have to wear the uniforms, do we?" Shinju asked, afraid of what the answer would be.

"No, I don't see any reason to make you wear the uniforms. You're just temporary employees, after all." All the genin let out relieved sighs at the manager's answer.

"Anyway, these are the positions that you will be filling: waitress will be Chihiro, cashier will be Shinju, and fry-cook will be Kenji," Anko announced.

"WTF! Why do I have to be the fry-cook? It's only a step above being a dishwasher!" Kenji complained.

"Oh! Would you rather be a dishwasher? Because I can make that happen," Anko said, as she gave him the infamous 'just shut up and do it' glare.

"No! Fry-cook is fine with me," Kenji said, looking kind of scared of his sensei.

"No more questions? Alright, then get to work you Maggots!" Anko ordered in her insane drill sergeant voice.

The three genin quickly went to work. Chihiro went to a table that hadn't been served yet and got their orders. Shinju positioned herself behind the cash register. Kenji begrudgingly went into the kitchen to start deep-frying the shitty restaurant food.

"Hey, can I take your order?" Chihiro asked the couple at the table.

"No! That's not how it's done here! You have to say, 'Welcome to Ninja Burger, home of the ninja burger. May I take your order?' It's restaurant policy. Just be glad I'm not making you wear the uniform," Yagami scolded her.

"You can't be serious?" Chihiro asked the manager. She then sighed angrily and said the evil demonic phrase. "Welcome to Ninja Burger, home of the ninja burger. May I take your order?" She quickly wrote down their orders and took it to the counter. Shinju took the slip of paper and put it on the spinny order thing for Kenji.

"What the hell is this crap? Two ninja burgers, kunai fries, and shuriken shakes? Who the hell came up with these retarded food names? They couldn't just call them burgers, fries, and shakes? They just had to put the shit cherry on top of a dumbass restaurant," Kenji grumbled as he looked at the order. The real reason he was grumbling was that he had no clue how to make any of that stuff. So, he was pretty much just throwing everything together and hoping the result would be edible, or at least non-lethal.

"Two-fifty is your change. Thank you, come again!" Shinju said to customer. It had taken her a while to figure out how to use the cash register. All those buttons were so confusing.

And where was Anko? She was sitting at a corner booth, munching on some fries, as she watched the show. Yes, she is that evil of a sensei.

As the genin worked, the day passed quickly. Before they knew it, it was nine o'clock and closing time. They dragged their feet back to the hotel. All the while, knowing that they had two more days of hell, before they could make their way home. They weren't sure that they were going to survive the horrors of restaurant work.

**Yay! At this rate, Sting won't kick my ass when he comes back! Please, read and review. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when you review.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Yay! Sting isn't going to kick my ass! That is such a relief. I hope you enjoy this new chapter.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, all the really cool villains would still be alive. Sting knows which ones I'm talking about.**

**Team N…Sanity**

**Chapter 10: Strange Customers**

Unlike the first day in the restaurant, the second day was a bit more eventful. The early morning went by fast, but the later part of the morning was marked by the arrival of a unique customer. She had long black hair and pale green eyes. Her shapely body was just barely covered by a skin tight leather tube top and matching pants. 

"Whoa! Hyabusa!" was Kenji's first reaction upon seeing her through the large opening where he handed the food off.

"Huh? What does that mean?" Shinju asked. She had never heard of such a word and hadn't noticed the woman's entrance.

"I don't know, but Hyabusa!" was Kenji's only reply to the question. He didn't exactly know what it meant either, but it described how he was feeling. Kenji watched her the entire time she ate. Just as she was about to leave, Kenji decided to go out on a ten minute break. Outside of the restaurant, he saw her slowly walking away. "Hey! Wait!" he shouted to make her stop.

"What do you want?" she asked, as she turned around to look at him.

"I was just wondering what name a pretty lady like you goes by," he said, trying to act suave.

"My name is Noa. What's your name?" she couldn't help but wonder if this kid was for real. He must have been ten years younger than her, for Kami's sake.

"I go by Kenji, but most of the girls in my village call me Ken-chan," it wasn't a complete lie. His mom, Chihiro, Shinju, and their sisters all called him that. He just didn't know very many girls.

"Well Ken-chan, I guess I'll be seeing you around," she said as she continued on her way. 

"Yeah, see ya," he said, blushing from hearing her call him 'Ken-chan'. He quickly made his way back into the restaurant. Just as he was about to enter the door, three figures cut in front of his path. 'Talk about freakin' rude' he thought angrily. He couldn't help but listen to their conversation, as he followed behind them.

"Why the hell do we have to eat in a shit hole like this?" the tall white-haired one asked.

"Because this is the cheapest place in town and Tobi won't shut up unless we eat here. So, quit your damn complaining!" the one wearing the strange head covering replied.

"I still don't see why we had to bring the little fuck-tard along. He isn't supposed to be our problem," was the foul-mouth's reply. Kenji was unable to hear the rest of the conversation as he made his way towards the kitchen and the three men took their seats at a shady corner table.

"Welcome to Ninja Burger, home of the ninja burger. May I take your orders?" Chihiro asked them, in a monotone voice. That phrase had become her worse enemy. 

"Oh! Oh! Tobi thinks your hair is pretty! Tobi wants to know if it's really purple or just dyed," the mask-wearing idiot said enthusiastically. 

"Yes, it's natural," she stated after a slight pause. The last thing Chihiro wanted to do was explain her hair situation to an idiot. "So, what'll it be?" she asked impatiently. These guys were seriously creepy and she wanted to get away from them.

"Hmm… what's the cheapest thing on the menu?" the one wearing the head covering asked.

"That would be the kunoichi salad, but usually only teenage girls on diets order that," was Chihiro's reply. 'Ugh! Why can't these morons just hurry up and order something!'

"Fuck that! I'm not eating any pussy salad! I don't care what the shit costs! I'll take a double ninja burger, kunai fries, and a large shuriken shake," the foul-mouthed one exclaimed.

"Ok, and the rest of you?" Chihiro asked. 'I swear, if these guys don't hurry the hell up, I'm gonna pull out my katar and slice their damn heads off!' 

"Oh! Tobi will take a happy ninja meal!" the hyper moron exclaimed.

"I will take the kunoichi salad and water. Water is free, right?" the last one inquired.

"Yeah, water is free. Your orders should be ready soon," Chihiro stated. She went towards the counter, relieved to be away from the creeps. "Man, those guys are weird," she said to Shinju and Kenji.

"You're telling me. What's up with the matching outfits? Are they gay or something?" Kenji replied.

"Yeah, there is something that's kind of off about them," Shinju added.

"I just hope they don't cause any trouble," Chihiro said, as she took the food to the table. "Here's your food and your bill. Have a nice day," she said, when she delivered the food to the weird guys. 

The genin kept an eye on the strangers. After an hour, the men had finished eating, but they hadn't left yet and they kept whispering to each other. The genin were starting to get suspicious. Finally, the mask-wearing idiot made his way over to the check-out counter.

"Tobi thinks you're cute! Tobi thinks you're even cuter than your purple-haired friend!" the mask-wearing idiot said to Shinju.

"Umm… thank you," Shinju replied, somewhat uneasy.

"Do you like plants? Tobi's best friend is a giant plant!" the weird man was trying to make small talk with Shinju. That much was certain. It wasn't too long before Shinju was in deep conversation with the masked idiot. The conversation only being broken by bouts of laughter.

After listening to the conversation for a while, Chihiro was starting to get really suspicious. She looked toward the table that the other two had been sitting at. Her eyes widened upon discovering that the other two had left the table. She noticed them silently making their way towards the door. 'So those bastards are trying leave without paying,' she thought, quickly forming a plan. She quietly walked toward them and tapped the white-haired guy on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, gentlemen, but it's customary to pay before leaving a restaurant," she pulled a scroll from one of her pockets, while she said this. Opening it up, she performed a few hand signs. In a puff of smoke, her huge five-bladed katar appeared in her right hand. "So, pay up, or else!" she shouted, looking very threatening.

To say that the two men were surprised, would be an understatement. They had no idea that real ninja worked here. Because they couldn't chance a fight, in case they were discovered as being missing nin, they decided the best alternative would be to turn tail and run like hell. Kenji tried to block the door, but the two larger men shoved him aside and escaped. Unfortunately, they left one of their own behind in their rush for freedom.

"Ahh! Hidan! Kakuzu! Don't leave Tobi behind!" the masked man screamed, as he tried to run after his friends. Before he could even make it to the door, he was tackled to the ground by all three genin. While Kenji and Shinju held him down, Chihiro quickly searched his pockets. After a short search, she finally pulled out a wallet. Kenji then threw the screaming idiot out the door. 

"Don't you bastards dare come back!" Kenji yelled at the quickly escaping idiot.

"Well, this should cover their bill and leave extra for a nice tip," Chihiro said after counting the money from the wallet. 

"That was certainly interesting," Shinju said. 

"Yeah, let's just hope that we don't get anymore customers like that," Kenji replied. All of them were _really_ starting to hate the restaurant business.

**I'm sooo happy that I'm not going to get my ass kicked. Plus, Sting comes back tomorrow. I've been so lonely without my buddy. Anyway, read and review. **


	11. Chapter 11

Yay

**Yay! New chapter! Sorry that it's a little late in coming. Crap happens, especially in my life. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm also sorry that it's so short. The next chapter will be better. I promise!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! I'm lucky just to own a few manga books.**

**Team N…Sanity**

**Chapter 11: Special Delivery for the Village Hidden in the Smoke**

'Thank God!' was the thought running through all of their minds. It was their last day of working at Ninja Burger and they were all ready to go home. Midway through the morning, Yagami approached them.

"My workers came back earlier than expected. Before you go though, could you deliver this order to the village of Kemuri. I know it's a little out of your way, but it would be a really big help," Yagami asked.

"Sure, it's not too far out of our way," Anko replied. "You guys have ten minutes to pack up before we leave." With that said, the genin went to prepare to leave. Kenji stayed behind to grab something to eat.

"Heeey, Big Boy! You want doughnut!" a weird little old lady suddenly asked him seductively.

"Uh… No thanks! I'm good!" he exclaimed and ran out as fast as he could. He went to the hotel and grabbed his bag. The girls were waiting for him right outside. He quickly ran past them and yelled, "Let's get the fuck outta here!"

"What's wrong, Maggot!?" Anko yelled as she and the other two girls tried to keep up with him.

"Trust me, Anko-sensei. You don't wanna know!" was Kenji's only reply. They started to slow down once they were a mile away from the village and the psycho lady. Silence settled between the four shinobi, as they walked on their way to Kemuri.

"Hey, what kind of village is Kemuri? I've never heard of it before." As usual, Kenji was the first one to break the silence.

"It's a small village on the edge of the Land of Fire. It sits at the base of a volcano. Even though it isn't big, it's very independent and secluded. Although not much is known about what goes on in Kemuri, I've heard that they have their own ninja," Chihiro explained.

"Gee, thanks for the geography lesson, bookworm bitch," Kenji replied.

"At least I can talk to an attractive member of the opposite sex without saying made-up words. What the hell does hyabusa even mean?" Chihiro retorted.

"It's that wonderful feeling you get when you see someone who is absolutely steaming hot!" Kenji explained.

"I thought that was called an erection," Shinju replied out of nowhere. Everyone stared wide-eyed at her like she had grown a second head. They had no idea that sweet, innocent, little Shinju even knew what the e-word meant. "What?" she questioned about their stares.

"Nothing!" everyone exclaimed at the same time. They continued on their way. It was a long time before anyone spoke again. They were still all in shock because of Shinju's response.

"We're almost there. It should be just over this hill," Anko told them. They climbed the hill. All of them were wondering what Kemuri was like. They were in for a huge surprise.

When they reached the top of the hill, they looked down in shock at the village of Kemuri, or at least what was left of it. The buildings and houses were nothing but charred black ruins. Flames still engulfed a few buildings and trees still standing. There didn't seem to be a living soul down in the village.

"Wow! It really is the Village Hidden in the Smoke now!" Kenji exclaimed after a short silence. Chihiro immediately hit him upside the head. "Oww! What was that for!?"

"You idiot! The village is destroyed, innocent people are dead, and all you can do is crack jokes!" she yelled at Kenji.

"What do you think caused this?" Shinju questioned, interrupting their argument. "It doesn't look like the volcano erupted. So, it couldn't have been a natural disaster. If it had started as a small accidental fire, someone in the village would have noticed it and put it out," she stated.

"You're right. The village must have been attacked by either an external or an internal threat. Looking at the damage, it looks like it must have started early in the morning before the sun even rose," Anko stated. "Well, there's only one way to know what exactly caused it. Let's go investigate!"

So, the four shinobi made their way to what remained of Kemuri. None of them could have anticipated what they would find there.

**Yippee! Another chapter completed! Once again, sorry that it's late and short. I wanted to end it in the right spot. I've been really busy filling out last minute scholarship forms. Being a senior sucks. **

**The big boy part actually happened to my friend at a Chinese restaurant last week. It was hilarious! By the way, does anyone know what hyubusa means? My friend always says that when he sees a hot chick.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Woohoo! Everybody party because it's a new chapter! Once again, I'm sorry for the wait. On another note, I'm sooo excited! I got first place at forensics, I went on a college visit, and Vampire Knight premiered. It's been a good couple of weeks.**

**A lot of stuff happens in this chapter. So, it's pretty long. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, there would be a brand new episode every single day.**

**Team N…Sanity**

**Chapter 12: Holy Smokes!**

Upon reaching the village, they were met by a very dismal scene. It seemed that nothing was left untouched by the carnage. They split up and searched through the ruins hoping to find some survivors. Kenji was about to head to what was left of a once large building when he abruptly tripped over something.

"Son of bitch!" he screamed, right before his face was planted into the ground. He got up fast and looked for what tripped him. Underneath a large pile of ash was an unconscious boy about the same age as him. He hurriedly brushed off all the ash and checked the kid's vital signs. Fortunately, the strange kid had a pulse and was breathing normally. His long black hair was held back in a ponytail with two shorter pieces framing his face. He wore a black coat that reached his knees and was held closed by a red belt. Black pants were worn underneath and were tucked into shinobi sandals. Suddenly, he started to move a bit and his eyes shot open.

_Elsewhere…_

Deciding that it would be easier to search together, Chihiro and Shinju were looking for survivors and clues as to what happened. All of a sudden a steel dart with a rope on the end of it was hurled at them through what was left of a building. They quickly dodged it. Another rope-dart was sent at them, which Shinju narrowly missed.

"So, it looks like I have some new opponents. This'll be fun," a feminine voice said. Through the smoke, they saw the silhouette of a woman approaching them.

_Back with Kenji…_

"What the fuck!?" the boy yelled. Kenji jumped back at the stranger's sudden yell. "What the hell happened, Dude!?"

"I don't know! I was hoping that you'd tell me!" Kenji replied.

"Why were you hovering over me? What happened to my village?" he asked.

"Well, I was making sure that you were alive. My team and I came with a delivery and found your village destroyed. It looks like it was engulfed in flames," he explained.

"Fuck! Not again!" he yelled and slapped his forehead.

"You mean this has happened before?" Kenji questioned.

"Yeah, whenever I get _really_ pissed, I tend to destroy everything in my path," he explained.

"Whoa! That's freakin' sweet!" Kenji exclaimed.

"Seriously?" the stranger asked. 'Wow! This dude is alright. Most people stay away from me when they find out.'

"Yeah, that's like the coolest! Anyway, my name's Sato Kenji. For future reference, what's your name?" he asked.

"Name's Onikage. Where are you from?"

"Cool, your name means demon shadow. Well, I'm from Konoha. Oh! Before I forget, here's the delivery we were told to bring," Kenji told him, handing him the Ninja Burger take-out bag.

"Aww, nasty! I can't stand Ninja Burger food!" Oni exclaimed.

"Well, that makes two of us," Kenji replied.

"You know, you're alright," Oni told him.

"Thanks. You're not too bad yourself," Kenji replied. "So, do you remember what made you so pissed?" he asked.

Oni's eyes suddenly widened as he remembered the 'killer-kungfu-whoop-bitch'. "Oh shit!" was the only thing he said. Their conversation was suddenly interrupted by a scream.

_Elsewhere…_

Anko was fighting a huge man that looked more like a sumo wrestler than a ninja. Although she had the upperhand, she knew that she'd have to end this fight quickly. She was jerked from her thoughts by the sound of a scream in the distance. Knowing that her students were in trouble, she decided _now_ was the time to finish him off.

"Snake Swallowing Jutsu!" she yelled as she summoned a huge snake. The newly arrived snake struck out at the man and swallowed him whole. She ran to where the scream had come from, determined to keep her students safe.

_Back with Chihiro and Shinju…_

Shinju's foot was caught in a rut and another rope-dart was heading straight for her. Chihiro arrived and pulled Shinju's foot from its confines. Shinju let out a scream as Chihiro threw her out of the way just in time to avoid the deadly projectile. Chihiro didn't even try to dodge it and just used her intangibility jutsu. The dart went right through her and she merely stepped out from the rope.

"Ah, so you are a member of the Aizawa clan. Don't think that your kekkei genkai alone is going to save you," the strange woman said.

"Yeah, whatever," was Chihiro's reply. She really wasn't the type to talk a lot during a battle. Suddenly, Chihiro ran right at her. The woman tried to defend herself, but Chihiro just fazed right through everything she threw at her. "Body Over Mind Jutsu!" Chihiro shouted as she lunged into the woman. Instead of knocking her down or passing through her, she fazed inside the womans's body and stayed there. Just as she was about to raise a kunai to the woman's heart, she was forced out of the body and dropped to the ground in front of her.

"You think that a little genin like you has more chakra control than me, an experienced jounin?" the woman stated. She raised a rope-dart and prepared to throw it at Chihiro. "Let's see how you fair against my poison rope-dart." Upon seeing the dart coming at her, Chihiro jumped out of its path. The woman sent another one at Chihiro. She didn't have time to dodge this one. So, she fazed through it. The rope was still running through her stomach and out of her back, when Kenji and Oni showed up.

"Holy shit!" shouted both Kenji and Oni when they saw her. Unfortunately, that wasn't the best thing to do. At that moment, the shout distracted Chihiro and she lost control of her intangibility jutsu. "Hiro-chan are you alright?" Kenji asked.

"OMFG! THE PAIN! THE EXCRUCIATING PAIN! I just got fucking _stabbed _by a poison rope-dart! I'm going to die! I can't die like this! I can't… Wait… if I die that means… Riku will become the heir. Alright! I won't have to be the heir!" she was laughing like a maniac at this point. The rope was still in her gut, going in one side and coming out the other. Blood was dripping from both sides as she kept giggling in delight.

"OK…She's delirious," Kenji said uneasily.

Chihiro just kept laughing. "Yes! Victory is mine!" she shouted at the top of her lungs.

"Alright, she's flipping out now. Shin-chan, you're the medic-nin! Do _something!_" Kenji ordered.

"Ok!" Shinju replied. She quickly took a frying pan out of her backpack and slammed it over Chihiro's head.

"Shit! I could've done that!" Kenji exclaimed. He looked up at the enemy and realized something. "Hya…Wait a second! You're that Noa chick from the restaurant! Bitch! You just killed one of my best friends! You're gonna die, Bitch!" saying this, he unsheathed his sword and took his fighting stance. With his sword drawn, he charged at Noa. She sent several rope-darts his way, but he deflected them all with his sword. Bringing his sword up, he sliced her body cleanly in half. After a few seconds, her body transformed into a log.

About that time, another rope-dart headed straight for him. Suddenly, Anko lept onto the scene and pushed him out of the projectile's path. She summoned several snakes and had them attack Noa. The snakes didn't last long though. Noa kept throwing more rope-darts and impaling the snakes.

Kenji was trying to figure out some way to defeat her quickly. He wanted to get Chihiro medical attention as soon as possible. Suddenly, he remembered their sparring match from several weeks ago.

"Hey, Oni! I'm going to need your help defeating this killer-kungfu-whoop-bitch!" he yelled.

"Gladly! What do want me to do?" Oni asked.

"You said that you're the one who made everything go up in flames right? I need you to perform a high intensity fire jutsu and combine it with my earth jutsu," he answered.

"Can do!" was Oni's reply. They stood side-by-side. Each performing their own unique jutsus. "Fiery Rage Jutsu!" "Earth Barrage Jutsu!"

Both jutsus combined into a large molten mass that was heading straight for the two jounin. Anko was able to get herself out of the way in time. Noa wasn't so lucky and was pretty much cremated on impact. The battle was finally won.

With a heavy heart, Kenji approached the place where Shinju was taking care of Chihiro. Tears slowly made their way down his cheeks, as he kneeled next to his friends. Chihiro was still unconscious and was breathing shallowly as though the next breath would be her last. Blood still leaked from her wound. The rope had not been extracted from her body. He took her in his arms and sobbed.

"Chihiro-chan, I never told you this, but I always loved you like a sister. Granted, a somewhat annoying sister, but still. I wish I could take back all the shit I did to you. Like dyeing your hair purple, leaving itching powder in your underwear drawer, nailing your sandals to the floor, and all the other stuff. If I could, I would give you my life. Why!? Why did you have to die like this!?" his mournful rant was suddenly interrupted.

"Uhgg… Kenji-kun, you baka," escaped Chihiro's lips.

"Umm… Kenji-kun, I neutralized the poison so that it won't spread through her body. I can't extract the rope though. We need to get her to a surgeon to do that. She's going to live, if we can get her to a hospital fast enough," Shinju explained.

"Say no more. Anko-sensei, this is where I thank you for making me run all of those laps," Kenji said as he pick up Chihiro and ran like hell towards Konoha. In less than a second he was out of sight.

"Holy shit! He can run fast!" was Oni said as he watched in amazement. He then took off following the trail of dust that his new friend had left behind. The two remaining females just stared in confusion.

"Who was that?" Shinju asked.

"Don't know. But he helped save our asses. Let's go!" Anko replied before running after them with Shinju not far behind.

The Team 2 with their new addition made their way quickly toward their home. The only thing on their minds was saving Chihiro's life.

**Well, there you go. I made it a little longer than usual. I thought I owed it to everyone, seeing as how I kind of ignored this fic for over two weeks.**

**Sting: Zzzzz… Huh? What? You updated? Alright! Party time! (streamers and balloons appear from out of nowhere)**

**D-C: (sitting in a dark corner) Fuck you!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Yay! New chappie! If I don't update again this week, don't worry. Prom is this weekend and I have to get a lot of things done before that.**

**Disclaimer: Think about it! If I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be wasting my time writing fanfics!**

**Team N…Sanity**

**Chapter 13: Hospital Horror**

After less than an hour, Kenji with Chihiro in tow finally arrived in Konoha. He stopped for a few minutes just to catch his breath and make sure Chihiro was still alive. Oni arrived just as he was ready to start running to the hospital.

"Geez, Dude. You are one fast mother," Oni panted.

"HI KEN-CHAN!" a shrill voice screamed from down the street. A short pudgy girl with frizzy hair and glasses was running towards them.

"Oh piss! I gotta go!" Kenji exclaimed before running faster than lightning towards the hospital. Oni was left in his dust to deal with the unwelcome fangirl.

"Who are you!? Are you a friend of my Ken-chan!?" she rudely asked.

"I'm Onikage and I happen to be your worst nightmare. I don't really know or care who the hell you are. I'm also guessing that nobody else cares about you. So, either leave my friend Kenji alone, or suffer my wrath," Oni said to her in a demonic voice. She looked like she just pissed herself after hearing this and ran away crying. Oni just chuckled at this.

Soon, Anko and Shinju arrived and all three of them made their way to the hospital. When they got there, they found a melancholy Kenji in the waiting room. Oni took a seat next to Kenji and Shinju sat on Kenji's other side. Anko went to report to the Hokage about their mission. The three just sat there in silence for a few minutes.

"Sooo…What are we going to do now that Kemuri was pretty much just wiped off the map?" Oni asked, breaking the silence.

"Well, you could stay me. I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind," Kenji replied.

"That sounds pretty cool," Oni replied, "I never had a roommate before."

"Who are you, again?" Shinju asked Oni.

"Oh, Shin-chan, this is Onikage. Onikage, this is Yamamoto Shinju," Kenji introduced them. As they were all getting to know each other, Anko came in.

"Well, I spoke with the Hokage and he said that you can stay in Konoha if you want to," she told Onikage.

"Anko-sensei, have you heard anything about Chihiro?" Kenji asked her.

"She should be out of surgery in about an hour. Luckily, Shinju was able to neutralize the poison; otherwise, she'd be a goner. She should be back to normal in about two weeks," she explained.

"I'm going to take Oni with me to talk to my parents. I'll be right back," Kenji told everyone. The two talked as they made their way to Kenji's house.

"So, what's your family like?" Oni asked.

"Well, my dad is really cool. He's the reason I have my freakin' awesome sword. My mom's a little over protective, but she makes damn good food. I have an older brother who's kind of a dick," Kenji explained. They finally reached the Sato house. "Mom! I've got a friend with me!" he yelled as he entered his home.

"That's fine, Ken-chan," Noriko replied.

"Can he stay for a few nights? His entire village was destroyed and no one was left alive," he asked.

"Ok, have fun!" was her only reply.

"Wow, your mom is very…" Oni started to say.

"Yeah, I know," Kenji said. The duo then made their way back to the hospital to check on Chihiro.

When they arrived, they found Chihiro's parents sitting in the waiting room with Anko and Shinju. Koyuri was bawling her eyes out and chanting, "my poor little baby," over and over again. Ryouta was fairing pretty well considering the circumstances. He was just sitting next to his wife and idly reading a magazine. After several minutes of waiting, a doctor came into the room.

"The surgery was a success. Chihiro will be fine. Right now, she's resting in room 213. You can go in and see her. Although, she'll be a bit delirious from the anesthesia," he informed them and left.

The group made their way to the room. Upon entering, they found Chihiro laying in a white hospital bed and wearing a white hospital gown. She stared up at the ceiling blankly. The first one to run to her was Koyuri.

"Oh, my poor little baby! I'm so glad that you're alright! I don't know what I would've done, if you had died!" Koyuri exclaimed as she held Chihiro in an overly tight embrace.

"Koyuri, she was just stabbed! Let her breath!" Ryouta ordered from his position at the door. It was a good thing he said something. Because Chihiro's face had started to match the color of her hair as her mother hugged her. Koyuri reluctantly let her 'poor little baby' go. The couple sat down in a few chairs that had been placed in the room for visitors.

"Thank you Shinju-chan. I would've died if you hadn't neutralized the poison. Anko-sensei, I'm not exactly sure what you did, but thank you. Thank you for killing that bitch and getting me here so fast, Kenji-kun and… who are you again?" she asked in a slurred voice.

"This is Onikage. He's going to be staying here for a while. Since he doesn't exactly have a village to go back to," Kenji explained.

"Ooook," she replied in a druggie voice. "You know Ken-chan, I've always thought of you as an older brother, granted, one that I don't claim. You've always been there to help me and protect me and…" she droned on and on.

"Damn, she's stoned out of her mind," Kenji whispered to Onikage and Shinju. All three of them were starting to get scared. They'd never seen this side of Chihiro before.

"and to make me feel better and… ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING!? Damn it! This is suppose to be a heart-felt moment!" Chihiro suddenly yelled when she realized that Kenji wasn't really listening.

"And, she's back to normal," Shinju said. Before Chihiro could lean forward to smack Kenji upside the head, the doctor came in.

"You should be healthy enough to leave in about a week. With another week of rest at home, you should be able begin training again. So, do you have any questions?" the doctor said.

"When can I start eating normal food again? I'm hungrier than a mother-fuck, and this IV isn't doing shit for me," Chihiro answered. After the doctor recovered from hearing her foul, pain-induced language, he started to explain.

"Well… it could take a while. It won't be for several days. We have to check everyday. So if we find something wrong, it may take longer," the doctor answered.

"Why?" she asked. Everyone was shocked when Kenji started to explain.

"Well, eating now would activate your stomach acids. The acids would eat through the wounds in your stomach and then start eating you from the inside out. That's about it in a nutshell," Kenji explained. Everyone stared blankly at him. Chihiro lay there with all color drained from her face.

"Well, _that_ was a harsh explanation," Shinju suddenly stated.

"What? You can't sugar-coat this kind of crap with her. If you do, she'll get pissed at you when she finds out later," Kenji said.

"Well, do you have any other questions?" the doctor finally asked.

"Yeah, but it's a totally unrelated question. Kenji dyed my hair purple about three months ago. Well, the color still hasn't faded and my incoming roots are purple too. Can you explain that?" she asked.

"Alright, what kind of hair dye did you use?" The doctor directed his question to Kenji.

"Just normal hair dye. I think the brand name was Manga-Madness and the color was called Purple Paradise. The label said that it should fade in about two months. I just thought that she liked the color and kept dyeing it," Kenji explained.

"How did you go about dyeing it?" the doctor asked.

"Well… I kind of snuck into her bathroom and spiked her shampoo and conditioner bottles with it," Kenji admitted.

"Chihiro, what type of shampoo and conditioner do you use?" the doctor asked.

"Herbal Essences Lavender Twist," she answered. Kenji almost had heart failure when he heard this. He suddenly remembered what else the label said.

"Is something wrong, Kenji?" the doctor asked.

"Well… the label might have said to not mix the dye with lavender extracts," Kenji reluctantly answered. Chihiro gave him a dark, menacing look.

"Well, it looks like the chemicals in the hair dye had a reaction with the chemicals in your shampoo and conditioner. The resulting chemical mixture sunk into your roots. So, in a nutshell, your hair is now naturally purple," the doctor explained.

"Hehehe…Well, I guess my job here is done. See ya!" Kenji shot out of the room like lightning. Oni quickly made his escape along with Kenji. Neither one of them wanted to experience Chihiro's wrath at that moment.

"KENJI-BAKA! I'm going to kill you when I get out of here!" Her yell echoed throughout Konoha. Nobody in the village was unaware of the Aizawa's anger.

**Well, I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. Sorry to throw in that fangirl at the beginning without explanaition. I'd been meaning to work her into the story for a long time as comic relief, but I just kept forgetting. So, I'd really like to know what everyone thought of this chapter. So, R&R.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry that it's been forever since I last updated. I won't even bother with an excuse. It's not like you'd believe any of them anyway.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, Hinata would get way more action.**

**Team N…Sanity**

**Chapter 14: The Nightmare Begins**

_All around her was pitch black. Suddenly, two glowing red orbs broke through the darkness. Icy fear ran through her veins. Unable to run, all she could do was scream…._

Chihiro jolted upright as she woke up from the horrible dream. Heart racing, she shakingly wiped the cool sweat from her brow. She glanced at the IV on her arm and followed the tubing to the stand next to her bed. Looking around the all white room, a chill ran up her spine. 'Damn! No wonder I keep having nightmares! All the drugs and the creepy hospital atmosphere are screwing with my mind!'

Feeling thirsty, she reached over and pressed the call button to summon a nurse. Several moments passed as she waited for one of the lazy nightshift nurses to get up off their ass and help her. The door slowly creaked open to reveal an all too familiar face. Chihiro's heart beat and breathing sped up as she stared in disbelief at him. A small smile made its way on his face as he began to speak. "Remember me, Hiro-chan?"

Chihiro gasped as she once again jolted upright in bed. She quickly gazed around the room. There was a lamp lit in the corner that gave the hospital room a soft comforting glow. On the other side of the room, Shinju was sleeping on a cot that had been set up for her. Shinju, like a good friend, had stayed with Chihiro every night since she had been admitted.

"It was just a nightmare. It was just a nightmare. He can't hurt me. He can't hurt me," Chihiro quietly whispered her mantra. She was jolted out of her chant by a rustling sound. Chihiro glanced over to the source. Shinju had shifted in her sleep and mumbled something that sounded like, "monkey butts". Chihiro couldn't help but smile at her friend's nocturnal antics.

Her gaze shifted to the bedside table that held some of the flowers that she had received. There were about fifty more at her house. The funny thing about her family was that almost anything became a contest. So, when Chihiro got hurt, it became an all out flower war. The fact that she was the heir to the clan didn't help matters either. While most of the gifts were at her house, she was sure to keep the ones with her that really mattered.

The one from her parents and siblings was very large. The vase was large and made of clear glass. The arrangement had a wide assortment of flowers, some of which she had never even seen before. She could tell that her family had spent a lot of money on it.

The one next to it was significantly smaller. Shinju had arranged this one herself. It was a green vase containing several cheerful, white daises. There were several pink and purple balloons that were tied to the neck of the vase.

The last one was from Kenji and Onikage. It was a small dark red vase that contained several violets. There was a card attached that read, "Get well soon. -Kenji & Onikage". Beneath this overused saying was something else. "P.S. Sorry for all the crap I pulled. -Kenji"

'Hmm, maybe I will forgive him. It isn't all his fault. I have been kind of a bitch these past few months. He was just trying to get me to lighten up, like in the old days,' Chihiro thought to herself. She finally calmed down enough to edge back into sleep. The rest of the night passed in dreams of more pleasant memories.

Morning came all too quickly for Chihiro and Shinju's liking. After the duo had finished their breakfast, they waited patiently for the rest of their team's daily visit. Soon Anko, Kenji, and Onikage entered the room. The team then waited for the doctor to arrive.

"So, today's the day, huh?" Kenji asked.

"Yep, if Chihiro is well enough, then she'll get to go home today," Anko answered.

"Has your family planned a welcome home party?" Kenji asked Chihiro.

"Kenji, how long have you known my family? Of course they've planned a welcome home party. They'll find any excuse in the book to party," Chihiro answered.

"Hehe, remember your ninth birthday, Chihiro? That's one party I'll never forget," Shinju giggled.

"Shin-chan, besides you, anybody who claims that they remember that party wasn't really there," Kenji said.

"Wait, what kind of parties are we talking about here?" Oni asked. It was natural that he didn't know about the infamous Aizawa parties. After all, the only Aizawas that he had met during the week that he'd been living with Kenji were Chihiro and her parents.

"Oh man, Dude! Just wait until tonight! It's going to be insane!" Kenji exclaimed. At about that time, Chihiro's dad stepped into the room followed by her brothers.

"Actually Kenji, we're trying to keep the insanity to minimum. After all, we don't want a repeat of Chihiro's ninth birthday party. The last thing we need right now is a bunch of underage kids having to need their stomachs pumped," Ryouta said. "Plus, with all the pain medication Chihiro is on, we can't risk anyone spiking her drink."

"So, you're just going to make sure nobody brings any booze? How are you going to do that?" Shinju asked.

"I never said there wasn't going to be any booze. I just meant that there was going to be a limited amount of it," Ryouta further explained.

"Yeah, it's pretty much impossible to ban alcohol at our parties," said Katsu.

"Why?" asked Oni.

"Because everyone and their mother will just sneak it in anyway," explained Isamu.

"Aw, good point," Oni and Kenji said at the same time.

"Sooo, when is this party?" Oni asked in an excited tone.

**D-C: Well, there is Chapter 14 in all its glory.**

**Sting: Holy shit! You're alive!?**

**D-C: Yes, I'd give you excuse on why I haven't updated in so long, but, as I stated above, it's not like you'd believe it. **

**Sting: Damn right, I wouldn't believe it! I know exactly why you haven't updated! It's because you're freaking lazy!**

**D-C: I am not lazy! I'm just kinda slow.**

**Sting: Riiiiiight, call it what you want.**

**D-C: (Sitting in the emo corner) Fuck you!**


End file.
